A New Life
by The Confused One
Summary: Buffy and Angel wake up from a shared dream to realize they can change their future. Will they make new choices? Heavy BA


A New Life Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. I will never own these characters. I am not making any money off of this.  
  
Notes: This is to fix everything that has been messed up on both Buffy and Angel. ( Enjoy Buffy/Angel shippers like me! ( It's right after the last season finales.  
  
  
  
  
  
Angel lay there in the coffin that his son, Conner, had put him in. "How could this be happening," was his only question. There were no answers. He didn't know how he was going to get out of this mess. Something made him wonder if he wanted to. Maybe it would be punishment enough for all the evil he had done in his life. The smell of the wood was almost intoxicating, or maybe it was just toxic because it was beginning to make Angel woozy. He was giving up hope of getting out of the coffin ever. Pretty soon he couldn't think at all though. He fell into a deep unconsciousness.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Suddenly Angel woke up with a jolt. He laid panting for a few seconds as his senses regained focus. He suddenly realized he was back in Sunnydale. He realized he was back in his old mansion. Confusion rushed over him. His first thought being, "How did I get here?" That's when he looked beside him. He suddenly felt like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. He began to panic. His breathing became erratic. He looked down at his open shirt. His wound was gone. He knew where he was. It was impossible! He couldn't go through this again! He wouldn't do it again. But he had to do it again. He saw his wound heal. He wished for more than anything that he wasn't healed. That she didn't have to live this again. Hell he didn't want to live this again. How could he expect her to? All he could do was shake her and call her name, "Buffy!"  
  
Fear and panic welled up forcing him to jump up off the floor. He scooped Buffy up in his arms and took off for the hospital. He hadn't lost her last time and he would be damned if he lost her this time either.  
  
  
  
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Buffy and Dawn uneasily walked up the porch of their house. Giles had whisked Willow away right after Xander had gotten her to stop. Buffy hadn't even had a chance to talk to her. There was a faint sign of relief for Buffy when it came to that. She wasn't ready to face Willow. She couldn't do it after the night they had just had. Things were changing again. She was sick of change. She was so sick of it that the mere thought made her want to throw up. Thinking about the situation Buffy felt her stomach begin to churn. The nausea was coming back to her. She decided to ignore it. She looked at Dawn. Neither of them dared speak less they say something that could never be taken back. Buffy yearned to talk to the girl. She wanted to hold her sister and make it all go away for both of them. But there was only one person Dawn would have wanted comfort like that from. The unfortunate part was that this person was dead and buried. A part of her would never understand why they brought her back and not her mother. It made no sense. Joyce was the strong one. Buffy hated to have to think of her mother as being dead even two years later. It was eary and hard to let her mind comprehend still.  
  
Buffy had stopped walking. She lingered by the steps. Dawn stood at the door waiting for Buffy to catch up and let her in. She had her eyes fixated to the floor. She was scared to death look anywhere else. She didn't want Buffy to see the pain and fear in her eyes. Dawn idolized Buffy. She was captivated by her sister's strength and abilities. She wanted nothing more than to be just like Buffy. Buffy was strong and never let her emotions get in the way. Something had to be done and Buffy did it. That's what Dawn saw anyway. She couldn't see her sister's pain. Buffy covered it well. Dawn didn't have a clue of how upset Buffy really was. Buffy wouldn't let her. Dawn now looked up and just stared in awe of her sister. She began to wonder why Buffy was just standing there. A look of confusion and worry was all over Dawn's face. She meekly whispered, "Buffy?"  
  
Buffy looked up at the sound of her name. She realized she had stopped walking. She immediately stopped frowning and put up the biggest and brightest fake smile she could muster. She couldn't let Dawn see her upset. It would worry her. Buffy took a deep breath. She silently fumbled with the keys in her hand. She pulled up the right key and moved closer to the door. Buffy solemnly said, "I'm sorry."  
  
Dawn watched her sister unlock the door. Dawn was almost relieved to hear the creak of door as they opened it. Some things never changed. Dawn watched from the doorway as Buffy threw down her purse and keys in the chair by the door, and trotted upstairs. Dawn followed slowly and quietly behind. She walked over to Buffy's door. She could hear Buffy crying. Dawn closed her eyes. She was relieved to know that maybe Buffy wasn't the perfect strong person Dawn thought she was. It made Dawn feel less alone in the world. Dawn began to cry herself. With one swift movement Dawn had opened the door and walked into Buffy's room. Buffy was startled to see Dawn walk in like that. She quickly tried to stop crying. Dawn shook her head no. She sat down next to Buffy on the bed. Buffy propped her head on Dawn's shoulder and continued to cry. Dawn wrapped her arms around Buffy and stroked her hair. Buffy soon fell asleep on Dawn's shoulder. Dawn was relieved to see her sister sleeping. Buffy needed the sleep. Dawn thoughtfully put Buffy to bed. Dawn walked to the door. She shut the light off as she whispered, "Good night, Buffy. I love you." Dawn closed the door behind her before walking to her own room.  
  
  
  
  
  
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Buffy woke up groggily. The bright lights disoriented her for a minute. She was in the hospital. Buffy hated hospitals. They never did her any good. So she took out the needles that were all in her, and got out of bed in one fell swoop. She stood there trying to piece how she had gotten in a hospital bed together in her mind. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep on Dawn's shoulder. Then the horror of the rest of what seemed like a dream came back to her. She suddenly remembered when and where she was. Buffy was cold and felt dirty. She wanted more than anything to go take a nice hot shower and climb into bed with Angel for some quality cuddle time. Buffy kept looking around like she was living a living nightmare. She was sure she had been there before. She wasn't sure what it all meant. The desire to make peace with Faith propelled Buffy to Faith's room. She walked into the room to see Faith hooked to monitors. She was sure that she would never be able to get rid of this déjà vu feeling she was getting with every step she took. It was just like the dream she had just had. Everything in it was so vivid about her life. She desperately wanted to change it. But something kept her from doing so. She felt herself give Faith the same soft kiss she did in the dream. It all reminded her of what was coming. Graduation was coming. Buffy had to be ready. Determination filled Buffy's face as she was knew what had to be done. This time the plan was going to be flawless. She would not allow any deaths. "Practice makes perfect," Buffy thought before walking out of the room to see her friends waiting.  
  
Buffy was shocked at how accurately it all happened. Willow immediately jumped up. Again being the first one to speak, "Buffy!"  
  
Xander chirping him quickly, "Are you OK?"  
  
Buffy just wanted to scream for them to stop and be quiet. She needed to think. This was all too much. She wanted to just hold them all and never let go. She almost started crying again thinking about how much more complex everything had gotten since the simple days of high school. But instead of yelling she sucked it up. They wouldn't understand. For them this was the first time around for this conversation. Buffy listened as finally Giles asked, "How do you feel?"  
  
She was being patient but her patients were wearing thin. She knew she was supposed to ask about Angel at that point but she already knew he had had to go. She decided to skip that part of the conversation. She sternly said, "Get Angel. Get everyone. I'm ready for war."  
  
She was even more annoyed when the questions didn't end. Giles was the most concerned for her. He asked, "Are you sure you're OK?"  
  
Buffy angrily replied, "Yes, I'm fine. Just get everyone to the library stat. I'll meet you there. I have to pick up something on the way."  
  
Buffy brushed past her friends and down the hall. She could feel them all turned around and staring at her. She didn't care. She was on a mission to change the future and nobody was going to stop her.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Buffy knew what the plan was going to be this time. She knew everything. She even knew how to make it work. She was beginning to remember that Angel was part of this dream too. She could feel him in the dream too. They had had the same dream. They had seen their future. Every step seemed familiar to Buffy. She couldn't believe it. She had been given a gift. She had given the gift to be able to prevent her and Angel's future mistakes. Buffy angrily stormed into the library. Every conversation immediately ceased. All eyes were fixated on Buffy. Angel's eyes were especially solemn and intense. She knew he had figured it out too. She sat down in the middle of the room just like she had done before. Only this time the plan was foolproof. She knew the bugs and was ready for them. Buffy proceeded to explain her plan to the others in great detail. She even mentioned the eclipse and the knife. When she finished her lengthy plan all she received was blank stares. The only person who seemed to understand was Angel. She knew he wouldn't say a word about it. She finally sighed and resigned herself to repeating some of the dream. She shakily asked, "So, am I crazy?"  
  
Willow was freaked. Buffy had worked every detail out. She even knew where everyone would be. That was the creepy thing for her to comprehend. Willow finally just blurted out, "Well, 'crazy' is such a strong word." Giles was quick to add, "Let's not rule it out though."  
  
Buffy was irritated with this. She wanted to just scream that she knew it would work and that's final. But she took a deep breath. She had to get that clear without letting on about the dream. She couldn't tell them till she had talked to Angel. She had to see how he was feeling about the dream first. Buffy began again, "Look, I know it sounds crazy but I just know it will work. Can't you guys just please trust me on this one and go with it?"  
  
Angel knew that for whatever reason she wasn't telling them about the dream and she needed support. So, he jumped to her defense, "I think she has something with this. It makes sense."  
  
Everyone stopped and stared at him. Angel never supported a plan so adamantly. Buffy gave him a "get a grip and don't blow this" look. Xander was annoyed that Angel was supporting Buffy's plan period. He bitterly spit out, "Who asked you?"  
  
Buffy immediately glared at Xander. She was sick of his jealousy. Before Angel could answer Buffy stated, "I asked him. It was my brilliant idea to have him bite me. I didn't give him a choice. Let it go."  
  
Xander was appalled at how easily she still defended Angel. It never made sense to him. He stared for a moment as Buffy gingerly rubbed her neck biting her lower lip from the pain at the same time. How could she defend the guy who had done that? No, he would definitely never understand. He wasn't sure he wanted to understand. He had no words, no comebacks, or even sayings to hurl back. So he simply said, "Fine. I guess we should get started?"  
  
Cordillia nodded in agreement. She said, "I'm for any plan of Buffy's. Hell it's the best one we got."  
  
Buffy smiled. She could always count on Cordillia to be behind her plan. Buffy got up from the chair. She began again, "There's chores for all."  
  
That's when Wesley walks up behind him and interrupts by saying, "Well you don't have an enormous amount of time."  
  
Buffy fumed. She had almost forgotten he was going to show up. That's when Xander interrupted her thoughts by saying, "Hey It's Mr. States-the- Obvious."  
  
Buffy almost smiled. She loved Xander's witty comebacks. But she kept her composure. And there was no way she would turn around and face Wesley. The only thing that came to her to say was what she had said before, "The council is not welcome here. I have no time for orders. If I need someone to scream like a woman I'll give you a call."  
  
She closed her eyes waiting for the words she knew would be coming next. "I'm not here for the council. Just tell me how I can help," Wesley added hoping to be of some help.  
  
The mere thought of what Buffy knew Cordillia would say next made her want to hurl. She had to stop it. She quickly said, "Fine. There are chores for all."  
  
Buffy breathed a deep sigh of relief as she finished her list of chores and watched her friends disperse. She went around the room checking on everyone's progress before eying Angel walk into the office. She knew this was their chance to talk. She had to take it. She quickly followed him into the dingy office. She got to the door when Angel said, "I'm sorry about what happened. I just wanted to help you out in there. I know the plan will work."  
  
Buffy walked quietly behind him. She whispered, "I know. I also knew you had to have had the dream too. It just proved that to me. Which leads to my bigger question. Are you still going to leave?" Angel could hear the hope that was still in her voice. She wanted desperately for him to stay. He still couldn't understand why. After everything she still loved him. A part of him was glad that she did. Another part of him wished she didn't. Leaving would be easier then. Buffy walked to right beside him now. He decided to go back to the dream conversation. He quickly said, "I'm not going to say good-bye. If we get through this I'm just going to go. You understand?"  
  
Buffy was shocked to hear him say these things. She couldn't believe he was still willing to leave after the dream they had both had. She couldn't take the pain of it. She turned that pain to anger. She bit back his words and viciously said in return, "How can you leave!? You are supposed to be here!"  
  
Angel closed his eyes. He could hear the pain. He didn't want to hurt her. But the dream had proven more than anything that they could move on from each other. They would always love each other but that would never be enough. "The dream proved we could do this. Buffy, we were never meant to be together. Not really," Angel answered sadly. He hoped she could understand.  
  
Buffy couldn't understand. To her the dream only proved how much a mess they made of themselves without the other. She wanted to cry. But she wouldn't with him there. She choked back her tears, swallowed hard, and sadly replied, "No, to me the dream just proved how much we need each other. I can't live that life Angel. I won't live it. It was bleak and full of pain. I can't live that without you."  
  
Angel sighed. "Yes, you can," he swallowed, "I watched you."  
  
Buffy was got angry again. How could he take them so lightly? She yelled back, "That's because you didn't give a choice in the matter! You just left! What was I supposed to do?"  
  
Angel swallowed hard. He knew she had a point. He answered back, "You did exactly what you are supposed to do. You moved on. It's hard. It will always be hard. You just have to deal with it. And in the dream you did. It makes me sure that you can again. And since you know what you know this time things can be different."  
  
Buffy just softly said, "The difference I want is you."  
  
Angel wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be OK. But he knew he couldn't do that. He had to be strong. They both refused to look at each other. He finally said, "You can't have me there. Your future has to be alone. It's the only way for you to have a life."  
  
Buffy shook her head in disbelief. She simply said, "What if I don't want a life without you."  
  
Angel looked up at her and into her eyes. They shared an intense moment. Buffy looked away first. She then walked past him and out of the room. She hadn't managed to be any better off with that conversation. She had to have hope for a happy ending. She wouldn't accept it another way. She went back to work. She would have to think about all of this after the Mayor was dealt with. She didn't have time for her personal issues. Somehow that was fitting. Her life had been full of no time for her personal problems. Buffy chuckled to herself. The things she was thinking of hadn't even happened yet. Well most if hadn't. Buffy pushed it out of her mind and got back to work.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Buffy was shaking. The Mayor was bigger than she could have ever imagined. She was actually scared. But there was no time for fear. Buffy swallowed hard hoping the fear would go away. She watched as the scene from her dream played out. She had to get his attention. She had to destroy the Mayor. Buffy pulled out the knife. She was glad to get his attention before Snyder did. Buffy yelled to Xander, "Fall back already! I've got it! The vamps are going to come up the stairs!"  
  
Buffy watched a second as Xander focused his attention to the stairs. Satisfied he had done what he was told Buffy completely uncovered the knife she had stopped by Faith's to get before even arriving at the library. She yelled up to the Mayor, "Hey! You remember this? I took from Faith. Stuck it in her gut. Just slid in her like she was butter. You want to get it back from me Dick?"  
  
Buffy began focusing on the knife. She played with it a second till she knew the Mayor had had enough of it. Buffy took a deep breath. She was going to have to run hard and fast. She knew it. That's when she took off for the library where Giles was ready. Running in Buffy screamed, "Now!"  
  
Within seconds the school was up in smokes. Buffy hoped it would scare the vampires away from the scene. Giles and Buffy just looked at each other. She couldn't believe the school was gone. Yet, all she wanted to do was find Angel and make him see how much they were meant to be together. She walked away from the scene to run into Xander. She was searching for Angel and not having any luck. She knew he had to have made it out of the fight. She heard the familiar comment, "Got off pretty cheep.considering.  
  
Buffy half smiled at him. She was still searching for Angel. She kept looking around. She finally said half interested, "Seems like we did."  
  
Xander could tell she was looking for Angel. He hated that she was but knew it was true. So he finally said, "He made it through the fight. Guess he took off after."  
  
It was just a small comfort for Buffy. She was afraid she would never find him. Xander walked on. Buffy kept looking around hoping to still see him somewhere. That's when Giles found her again. Putting his arm on Buffy's should he asked, "Are you alright?"  
  
Buffy sighed letting it all go. She tilted her head. "I'm tired," she stated.  
  
Giles understood. He was almost glad to hear her admit how tired she must be. He attempted a smile as he said, "I should imagine so. It's been quite a couple of days."  
  
Buffy expounded a little more for Giles' clarification, "I haven't processed everything yet. My brain isn't really functioning on the higher levels. It's pretty much: fire bad; tree pretty."  
  
Buffy gave a smile at how simplicity. Giles smiled in understanding. He then stuttered out, "Understandable. Well, when it's working again congratulate it on a good campaign. You did very well."  
  
Buffy smiled noticing how closely she was following the dream now. She just wanted this conversation over with but she knew she had to be a little patient. She graciously smiled at Giles and returned his compliment, "Thank you. I will."  
  
Giles sighed. Things were wrapping up. He was glad to see that. He began messing with his pockets. Buffy suddenly remember what he was going for. Pulling it out of his pocket he said, "I ah. I managed to ferret this out of the wreckage. Now, it may not interest you, but. I'd say you earned it."   
  
Buffy took it hesitantly. She smiled and said, "Thanks."  
  
Giles started into his speech about the irony of the situation when Buffy just couldn't stand it anymore. She looked up at him and cut him off, "Giles, fire bad; tree pretty."  
  
Buffy was relieved that he stopped. She had heard this speech before. She didn't want it again. He sighed. He stuttered out, "Yes, sorry. I'm going to see to Wesley, see if he's. is still," Giles suppresses a laugh as he finishes his sentence, "whimpering."  
  
Buffy too almost laughed. She watched Giles walk away. She then immediately snapped her head to where she knew Angel would be. She saw him standing by the fire truck. She had to go stop him. She couldn't let him leave! She wouldn't let him leave. Buffy took off running towards where Angel was standing. Angel was shocked when she was at his side. She was crying now. She didn't care. She had time to get him to stay and she was going to take advantage of it. Buffy could smell the cologne he was wearing. It was so seductive to her. The familiar smell sent chills down her spine as she breathed it in. She was breathing hard. He just watched her. He touched her face, cupped her chin in his hand. He saw the tears still coming down. He whispered, "I have to go."  
  
Buffy broke from his grasp. Her tears came even more now. She said through the tears, "I can't lose you again. I'll die without you. I'm nobody without you. Don't you understand that? I need you here with me. I don't know how I can go on without you."  
  
Angel looked at her. The pain was evident on both of their faces. He kissed her forehead and said, "In the end you'll be better off without me. Trust me on that."  
  
Buffy was getting desperate. She yelled at him, "So to you the dream meant nothing! Your still going to walk away for the existence you ended up living? I can't accept that for myself."  
  
Angel is stunned at her desperation. He wants to give in so bad but he's afraid to. He doesn't want to hurt her anymore. So he snaps back at her, "Damn it, Buffy, don't make this harder than it is."  
  
Buffy laughs. She shoots back, "You're the one making this hard. I just want you to stay. For once, Angel, listen to me. Don't go! We'll both regret it forever."  
  
Angel now ready to cry too. He says, "I have to. In the long run we both know we'll never make it. We're not supposed to."  
  
Buffy is furious. She informs him, "Yeah we definitely won't be together if you chicken out and leave on me. I know we can make it if you would just try!"  
  
Buffy could tell Angel was still not convinced. She decided she had to take drastic measures. She leaned up and grabbed his head. She gave him a sensual, sexy, loving, hard kiss. The kissed deepened. Every bone in their bodies screamed with excitement. Angel knew he couldn't leave. He managed to pull out of the kiss. He looked into her eyes. They were so full of hope at that moment. She wanted more than anything for him to stay. When he finally says, "I'll stay. I can't leave you either."  
  
Buffy's face filled with hope as she swung her arms around his neck in pure glee. Angel grabbed her waist and spun her around. They kissed again. Nothing would ruin that moment. They were both smiles. She finally said, "Don't ever scare me like that again."  
  
He grabbed her hand. More chills went up her spine. They began to walk away from the scene together in total contentment. He finally whispered, "Never ever again. We are for always." 


End file.
